“When you are shaken out of your comfortable routines, grip my hand tightly and look for growth opportunities. Instead of bemoaning the loss of your comfort, accept the challenge of something new. I lead you on from glory to glory, making you fit for my kingdom, say “yes” to the ways I work in your life. Trust me.” -God
These words jumped off my screen & gripped my heart while I read them on another blog today. (The Cartwright House) The blogger, an itinerating missionary wife/mom, found them in her devotional book. As I was reading how those words had seemingly been written just for her, & how she found them speaking to her at 2 am on a day she had to make major changes & choices in order to follow God’s plan for her family… I noticed a single tear rolling down my cheek. They were written just for me as well. How is it that in her sharing about her daily life & normal routine; the routine of constant change & new developments, of jumping from city to city & praying for guidance & provision along the way, of trying to keep a sense of normal & traditional for your children while spending holidays & birthdays in new places with uncertainty lurking in the corners; the routine of chaos that I have also grown to know so well… how is it that this sweet woman was able to so freely share the depths of her heart? Sharing the good, bad, sad & glad… not just the strong, confident, wise & faithful like I find so much easier to write/share with all of you…?
I realize now that I share the same feelings, questions & concerns as many wives/mothers that have made this journey before me. I realize now that for all my plans & knowledge, courage & wisdom… it’s ok to have (& to even share about) those moments where my heart is simply torn. Of course I HAVE had those moments, but it’s a rare occasion that I permit myself to acknowledge them, & even more rare that I would tell you (the world), my closest friends, or even my own mother… So from today forward, I am asking God to help me lean on those He has so graciously placed in my life! I will trust that you won’t judge me, I will remember that you know that my heart is in line with God’s design & plan for my family… that a moment of emotion surrounding these changes does not declare to the word that I am no longer on the same page I was on yesterday, but rather that I am indeed human & full of love for friends/family that I will say ‘goodbye’ to & that I will always have a sense of ‘home’ right here in California – even while I choose to leave & move forward to a new journey in life, with love for all those I will be saying ‘hello’ to & a new sense of ‘home’ that I already feel for the place I have yet to ever set my eyes upon.
Traveling to new cities every week – sharing with, teaching & encouraging everyone you meet there, stripping ones life down to make it fit into 20 suitcases, finding a new home for the dog your son slept with his whole life, teaching grandparents to Skype, reminding Dad to keep you posted on Mom’s health because soon you won’t be nearby when things change again… It is indeed a journey. And the emotions are just another memory on the journey.We wouldn’t have it any other way, as with many blessings in our life, God has blessed this broken road also! It’s a road of change, challenge… & growth!
Thank you for coming along. We love you all & we are stronger because of your love & prayers!